Community
These are tough times we are in. The normal challenges of life’s passages are compounded by pandemic induced isolation. The core human need for community is heightened by grief, loss, change, and confusion. At the same time, opportunities to gather together in like-minded groups are curtailed by the dictates of public health. Fortunately for women. well-designed and moderated virtual groups (appealing to women 40 and up) have been brought into being by several enterprising and brilliant women. One group, the Woolfers, conceived and...
read moreCelebration
Did you know that Celebration is a core human need? I often see people confuse this with partying. Of course you can have or attend a party to celebrate something or someone. But most partying happens because people simply want to change their mood, feel different, be someone else for a while. This is more in the category of a temporary fix than a celebration. Inveterate partiers are generally not happy, neither before nor after the party. No, what I want to talk about here is when we truly have something in our lives that calls...
read morePodcast Interview
In this week’s episode, we talk with Chaplain Meg Spinella about her work in Hospice care. A really interesting conversation about working with both the patient and the patient’s family. Definitely check this one out.
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read moreTrauma III
Nova Scotia is a lovely, peaceful province, hanging off the eastern edge of Canada. Getting there is a deliberate and often challenging intention. It’s known for water views, lots of them, as well as whale watching, hiking, and picturesque cottages. While getting there is difficult, staying there is seductive and the stuff of dreams for hardier folks. With slightly under one million residents, it is small both in area and population, like a very large village made of many smaller ones. Its residents, including the indigenous...
read morePandemic
“The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.” FDR These wise words from another time of International upheaval, threat, and loss, can still serve as a touchstone as we navigate a range of events unprecedented in our lifetime. Up to this writing, 20,911 people worldwide have died from Covid-19, of 463,342 reported cases. The number of actual cases is no doubt much higher, even as the death toll mounts by the hour. There is universal agreement among public health experts that “Sheltering in Place” is the...
read moreChange
“Change is the only constant in Life.” Heraclitus I used to say that I had to be dragged kicking and screaming into my future. I was no fan of change. That was a fear-driven way of being in the world. It was also a symptom of a victim consciousness. I now see myself as the co-creator of my future, together with the higher powers that work with and for me to bring good things into my life. I have emphatically re-ordered my relationship with change. Having found and practiced another way of looking at the unfolding events in...
read moreSorrow III
“There’s a hole in the world tonight There’s a cloud of fear and sorrow There’s a hole in the world tonight Don’t let there be a hole in the world tomorrow” The Eagles There’s only one appropriate topic this week for a site that focuses on healing Trauma. Yet, as I say that I know that for the families and communities victimized by the latest mass shootings in America, healing will be a long time in coming, if it comes at all. Indeed, America itself is grievously wounded and torn apart...
read morePerfectionism
Judging ourselves and finding that we come up short is endemic in our high-powered, fast-paced world. We say things to ourselves that we’d never consider saying to a loved one. “Well, I blew that.” “What a jerk I am.” “I am hopeless.” Harsh self-talk is an insidious and destructive side effect of perfectionism. What if you didn’t have to be perfect? I know. It doesn’t feel like a choice. Compulsions never do. Like a hamster on a wheel, you don’t know how to stop and get off, to...
read moreGrief III
I woke up knowing that my new puppy’s name would be Gabriel. My husband was well into the process of finding me an animal that he could train as a Service dog to help me with walking, stability, and balance. We chose an Airedale terrier from a line of Performance Airedales. These were dogs that wanted, above all else, to have a job to do. The 10 week old puppy came home to us during one of New England’s very cold winters. I was literally bowled over by the enthusiasm of his first sight of me. Gabriel’s first Christmas was a...
read moreSorrow II
I have felt compelled to write about politically charged events a few times on this Trauma website. Under the headings of Sorrow, Loss, and Tragedy, I have written about the Sandy Hook massacre, the Gabby Giffords shooting, and the Boston Marathon bombings respectively. As we navigate the aftermath of yet another mass shooting in America, I’m using the heading Sorrow II. This groups together two of the events involving the death of children at their school. It sets the stage for what I hope will be encouraging...
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